“She had left when I was little, and then Child Protective Services came in and took me away from the person I thought was my mother. Her brows were furrowed, but she remained quiet.
At first, I thought she was my sister.” She risked a glance at Anni. “I didn’t know Katrin was my mother until a few years ago. Her heart beat a little faster when she felt a faint squeeze. With a trembling hand, she reached for Jasmin’s, twining their fingers together. I’m still her friend if nothing else, Anni thought. She wanted so much to hold Jasmin’s hand, but she still didn’t know what they were to each other anymore. “What really happened, Jasmin?” Anni asked quietly. Even if Anni didn’t blame her, would there still be pity? “Mostly because I just want to forget.” Most of all, she hated that after all is said and done, Anni may not look at her the same. Hated what it had done to her, and how it made her feel about herself. “We haven’t talked about it,” Jasmin continued, looking out the passenger window. She just didn’t know if that would be accepted by Jasmin at the moment. Part of her wanted to pull over, take Jasmin in her arms, and give Jasmin her full attention. “You know there’s something in my past.”Īnni nodded slightly, alternating looking at Jasmin and watching the road. How do you explain something like that? Especially to someone who didn’t understand your past? She took a deep breath, holding it for a moment, then letting it out in a steady stream. Jasmin shrugged even though she knew Anni wasn’t looking at her. She fought to find something to say to that, but what do you say to someone you love who just told you they used to hurt themselves? “Why?” she whispered. When Anni’s eyebrows furrowed, she clarified, “Myself.”Īnni sucked in a sharp breath, swerving a little when she turned to look at Jasmin. “Used to what, Jasmin?” Anni asked after several silent moments. ” she swallowed, hesitant to actually say the words out loud to someone she wanted to be perfect for. But to get to the point where Anni would understand what she meant, she had to tell everything. It was more than she had ever expected, or even hoped for. Was this really a conversation to be had in a car, on the way to possibly say goodbye to Anni’s father? Then Jasmin thought of how open Anni had just been with her. That’s not what Jasmin needed now, and Anni fought to keep her emotions in check.
And, when she didn’t understand things, she had a tendency to become belligerent. There was so much sorrow filling the air, she felt she couldn’t catch her breath.
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